{oddness} of {me}

had one of those kinds of days?
or weeks?
or years?
it is not a bad mood really.
it is not upset, even.
just sort of . . .wander-y and lost.
the last few weeks i literally heard myself say out loud "i feel so lost. what am i doing?"
it is an odd feeling
but when i can get my head out of the oddness of it
for just a minute
i realize that it means there is movement there
there is change.
a year ago, i would not have felt these things.
it would have been desperate, lonely and out of fight to carry on.
i would of shut down.
today the oddness is still here.
but i see it for what it is.
i see growth.
i am in a better place now.